It seems as if when things go wrong, it comes from everywhere and anywhere. Really, I think it's quite clever, a test from beyond to see how much one person can handle, how much pain one person can tolerate before becoming self destructive.
It's a good question, but I don't think i'm the proper candidate to answer it. Even so, I don't escape this quiz being forced upon me. Unsure what my life will bring, anticipating there is much more then what I see now, I hope I do well. Hope.. something that gets torn apart as each day grows darker with responsibilities, and tasks that seem too grand for my capabilities. My capabilities seeming more limited, probably more limited then they actually are. My vision impaired by a chew mark from my new puppy. Teething, ugh.
It's just odd, how at certain times, more reoccurring that I would have wished for, I forget about whatever beauty there is in life and see no light, no good, no happiness. It seems that my sadness had no particular source, but its a general overall feeling of lack of. It comes, it goes, and now it's back again. I've studied abnormal psychology, and heard stories about this kind of thing, but I can't give myself a certain diagnosis. It's complicated, to me.
I'm visiting limbo, yet again.
This weekend i'll get new glasses.. or fix my old ones.. or get contacts, but something must change. I neeeed it too. After a long horrid night, I feel as if the worse has come, the climax of my hard moment has been reached and now I just need to wait for some positive events to follow. I need to come back to me, or I might lose everything.
I damaged my car in a freaking parking lot. The iron rod coming from the concrete hooked on to my bumper and tore it as I backed away, If any of you have any idea what I should do.. who I should see, or any guidance/advice whatsoever it would be greatly appreciated.